Here is a References Worksheet. Use it as a guide when you call references for your (possible) future housemate.

Also here is longer discussion on how to check references.

Action News in Las Vegas did a short piece on a senior considering renting a room in her house to manage her difficult finances.  It describes Rita, who after her husband died lost his pension and veteran’s benefits (reducing her income by 70%) and can no longer afford her home. She really wants to stay in her home, so she’s looking for a housemate. The final line of the video transcript on the web site is cautionary. It leaves one with the impression that it is dangerous to offer housing to a stranger.

The actual video clip concludes with common sense suggestions from AARP. These suggestions include meeting the home seeker in a public place, checking references, and trying to find someone through a community group.  Also Rita was finding it expensive to advertise. She and many in here generation aren’t Internet users – so she doesn’t know how easy it is to use Craigslist.

There is information on this blog about checking references, and lots of other information she, and seniors like her, might find useful.

More information in my book when it gets published.

I recently posted about Housemate’s Companion, an out-of-the-box app for Windows users who simply use computers.

For those who program in Python, Bluechips offers a package designed for “small groups of people who share expenses.” I don’t know how good it is. But really how bad can it be when the developer(s) use the Stooges for examples?

Tip of a hat to Bill who sent the info.

There are programs that take on responsibility for matching householders with home seekers. In general these programs are non profit social service programs focusing on people in need for reasons of age, disability or low-income.

The National Shared Housing Resource Center provides a directory of programs in states, updated in March of 2009. A casual count suggests that there are less than 50 programs throughout the country. There is no indication of how effective they are.

Problem is that it takes an enormous amount of energy to make a very few matches. I’m thinking that it ought to be possible for householders and home seekers to find each other through an internet matching service. Most people I suggest this to shudder in horror. Seems to me that the element of personal selection would add greatly to the willingness of householders and home seekers to participate in a homeshare program.

What do you think?

Confused by the bills you need to track in your shared home? Tired of using an spreadsheet and working out the formulas? Housemate’s Companion by Slamdunk Software comes to your rescue.  It’s brand new and looks exactly like the basic tool that everyone needs. It not only offers easy management of the bills, it sends the bills to your housemates through email and allows you to track payment.  If you have the confusing scenario of people moving in and out, Housemate’s Companion can simply figure out who owes whom what.

Along with bill management, the next difficult thing for housemates is managing the chores. Housemate’s Companion has a  chore roster ability allowing chores to be rotated fairly. The roster can be emailed or printed.  The author have also added the ability to send landlords notifications of problems. It also tracks the security deposit (bond in Australia).

It has a nice look and a straightforward interface. A series of video tutorials will show you what it looks like and how it can be used.

So far the software is only for Windows machines.  Slamdunk Software (isn’t that a great name!) promise they are working on a Mac version and also an iPhone ap!

Every home needs to be cleaned.  When people share housing the question arises about how the common areas that everyone uses are cleaned.  Here are three methods that work.

Hire a Pro

If you can afford it, the easiest, best way to get the house cleaned is to have someone else do it. Seriously – once every two weeks by a professional will avoid quite a lot of conflict about the quantity and quality of housecleaning.  Since you are saving money by sharing housing, you might be able to afford this option.

Rotate Chores Weekly

Figure out how many chores you have and divide them equally among the housemates. Decide if these chores are done weekly or every other week. Put chores in a set order and housemates in a set order and every week the chore shifts to the next person.

Areas of Responsibility

Create equitable areas of responsibility (vacuuming common rooms, taking out trash and recycling, washing kitchen floor, etc. ) divide them among housemates by preference. Each person is responsible for their area for a month. They can ask for a change at the end of the month. If no one wants a change each person keeps their area of responsibility.

Note

Obviously everyone has to carry their weight in actually doing their assigned chores.

Sometimes I find myself grumbling about mess in the house, something along the lines of “Why doesn’t he EVER clean up after himself?”  Years of experience have taught me to look again. Oh, I say to myself, “That’s mine and that’s mine and that’s mine..” It is a very natural human tendency to look at what others are doing and assign blame before examining ourselves and our role in contributing to the situation we don’t like. It’s the “pot calling the kettle black” or the interesting question, “Why do you see the speck in your brother’s eye but fail to see the beam in your own eye?”

So when you are upset by a messy housemate, the first thing you need to do is consider whether you have contributed to the situation. For instance, are you upset about the dirty dishes left in the sink today but last week you left dishes for two days? Did you neglect to do your chore but now you are irritated that your housemate hasn’t done hers? How have you contributed to your housemates neglect?

If you can in all honesty say that your slate is clean and the housemate’s behavior really is a problem, you need to have a conversation.  It’s possible that housemate has no idea that you are upset. Really. There’s no need to get mad or have a fight. A simple matter-of-fact conversation setting some guidelines for mess should take care of it. Try to be specific about what bothers you. Work together on an agreement that can help you move forward. If your housemate has specific requests of you, you too can adjust your behavior.

All the above assumes that you have a basic agreement about the cleanliness of your home. You made this agreement in the interview process, right? In that interview you talked about your attitudes and expectations for the cleanliness of your home. Your standards were similar enough that you chose to live together. If you didn’t talk about cleanliness then, you may have a harder time talking about it now because no standards were set and no expectations established. If your housemate has standards really different from your own, and you are each unwilling to adapt to the the other a bit, you may not be able to live together.

Sharing housing is a cooperative arrangement for the mutual benefit of everyone living in the house.

Do you have a story about living with messy housemates? How did you handle it?

It is absolutely essential that you ask your future housemate for references. Someone can be charming and lovely in an interview who changes character after moving in.  Both the person seeking a home and the person who is seeking a housemate have a right to ask for references. And then you must check them. There are two types of reference: income verification, and housemate habits.

Probably before you even interviewed this potential housemate, you learned as much as you could about the person through the ‘Net. Facebook, Twitter, and a Google search can tell you quite a bit. If you didn’t do it before interviewing, do it before checking references.

Reference checking should be done by telephone, not electronically. Make a telephone call. For some it is a bit scary to call someone you don’t know. If it is scary for you, just take a deep breath and do it anyway.

For income verification, you should call the person’s place of work and talk to his or her supervisor. Make it quick. Leave a voice mail. Be direct and clear. “I’m considering _____as a housemate, and I want to verify that she works for you. Please leave me a message at ________.”  A supervisor should be willing to help an employee find housing and would not mind the phone call. If income is coming from another source also, talk to that source, too.

For finding out what the person is like to live with, a different set of questions is appropriate. When you introduce yourself, explain clearly why you are calling and ask the person for 10 minutes. That’s enough for you to get the information you need.

The first thing is to find out how well the referrer knows the person. A good referral is someone who has actually lived with the future housemate. Be wary of a person who claims to have lived in shared housing before but can’t give you a reference of someone he or she has lived with. The next thing is to find out why that relationship ended. Endings tell a great deal about a person. The ending probably had a good reason for it, since this person has agreed to provide a reference.

At this point you might be in a conversation. If you have any particular concerns, this is the time to ask about them. If not, two general questions should lead you into a conversation. Ask, “What did you like about living with _________? What did you dislike about living with _________________?”

Follow up these questions with open-ended questions (requiring more than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’) that allow the reference to talk. You are there to listen and learn. These questions and your follow-up questions should tell you as much as you need to know about your future housemate.

Do end the call at the ten-minute mark as you promised. Keep the reference’s name and phone number.

The reference checks give you more information with which to make a decision. You can either confidently decide to share housing with the person you checked on, or you can decline. It’s up to you.

If you like you can use this downloadable References Worksheet to track your reference check.

Has your house become too expensive for you? If so, you are hardly alone. According to RealtyTrak, in 2010 between 3 million and 3.5 million foreclosure warnings will be issued. This is up from 2009’s record of 2.8 million. (USA Today, Feb. 11 2010) That’s a lot of houses, that’s a lot of unhappy people.

If your house has become too expensive, one thing you can do is share your house and earn income.

Rent a room. Rent two rooms. Would the income from that rent manage the gap between what you have and what you owe?  What could you charge? Do some research about rents in your area. Look at rooms for rent like yours in your neighborhood.  Look at what apartments cost. Find a good price that is within the range for your neighborhood. Think also about the cost of utilities.

Don’t get greedy. Find a price that makes it a good deal for your future housemate – a person you will be living with. The room or rooms you rent could be life-savers for other people, those for whom renting an apartment is too expensive.

We need to start doubling up. We can share housing and help each other out. There are lots of people doing it. There are others who need encouragement.

Don’t you think it’s a good idea?

Authors and attorneys, Janelle Orsi and Emily Doskow, have developed a model they call “four degrees of sharing”. The first degree requires minimal cooperation and no planning, while the fourth degree requires extensive cooperation and long-term planning. The whole model can be read here:

They assign sharing rental housing or a single family home to the second degree of sharing. While I agree that there is more cooperation and planning involved than say a neighborhood pot-luck, my take is that the amount of cooperation is dependent on the people sharing. Home sharing could be first degree sharing. It all depends.

What do you think?