Should you scream, throw a temper tantrum, walk around silently resenting that he hasn’t paid his bills? No, none of those are going to help the situation.
What you do need to do is to ask for the money in a clear, non-apologetic and non-angry tone. Don’t text or email. Look your housemate in the eye and say, “You owe ________ for _______. ” And wait for a response.
How is your roommate going to respond? That depends on the situation and her attitude towards money. The best response is for her to sit down and write a check or arrange for online payment right away. She might simply have forgotten.
The second best is a promise of payment in the future. This is now a conversation. You need to find out when and how your roommate is going to pay his bill. Ask him to name the day and make a commitment to pay you. When that day comes, remind him.
The worst is when your housemate avoids the question either by not being available or by dissembling when asked. What to do in that case? This is hard, because you have to make a decision. Are you willing and able to support your housemate? If your roommate has fallen on hard times and isn’t earning enough to pay her bills you may want to be generous and supportive. Your question is how long you can manage this. You should also be prepared to give this support, rather than loaning the money. A loan will weigh heavily between you.
If, however, your housemate is just being irresponsible towards the household expenses, then it is time to go separate ways. Don’t let the situation drag on and get worse. When housemates move in they bring the last month’s rent. That protects you for one month. A person who hasn’t paid their rent and bills within that month is not a housemate, but a freeloader.
In all my years of living with housemates, I only had problems twice. In the first case I was inexperienced. My housemate gave me a check for owed rent as he moved out, but cleaned out the account before I could cash it. In the second case, I allowed someone to move in against my better judgment because I really wanted the rent money. It was a mistake.
The point is that most people are responsible about paying their bills. Precautions taken in selecting a housemate is the best protection against the housemate who is irresponsible. Check references. Collect a security deposit and last month’s rent. (Check what’s legal in your area.)
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I have lived with 3 people for the past 2 years and we are all about to go our separate ways. I have always paid the bills and collected the money off everyone, but right now I’m owed £70 each from 2 of the housemates, and they move out in 2 days. I am worried that they will simply move out and boycott the payment, and as I am the only one listed on the bills, I worry that I will have no grounds to claim it back.
Furthermore, another bill is due to come out soon and by that point they will be gone.
I have asked them for the money, but I think they will fob me off with excuses. If they don’t pay me, I won’t be able to afford to live, that means no food for at least a month, and I can’t do that.
What should I do?
Can I take them to the small claims court?
I don’t think you can take them to court unless you have some sort of signed document making your arrangement legal. Sigh – this is why I always recommend that the person paying the bills get a security deposit when folks move in. Yes, it’s much harder collecting what one is owed when someone is moving out and thinks they can go scot free. I too have lost money before I got smart about the deposit.
Expect to get paid. Look at them clearly in the eye and say that you are owed money. Don’t be a doormat. Allow yourself to get angry. You expect to have it before each leaves and tell them how much they each owe and what you expect the future bills to be. Ask for it in cash. Something about being firm and clear does help the communication.
Do you have any connection with their employers, friends or family, or future housemates? You might let it be known that they are leaving you with bills unpaid. If your housemates care about their reputation that might cause them to do the honorable thing.
It’s totally infuriating when people squelch on their obligations. I’m angry for you. BTW: You don’t (at least here in the US) have to pay all your bill at once. If your housemates do walk without paying, call the companies and explain the situation. Spread the cost over a period of months.