“She seemed nice enough.” “He was well-spoken and gentle.” “We were friends and both needed a place to live.” These are real quotes from people who ended up being unhappy about their shared housing arrangements. What do they have in common? Lazy interviewing. All three neglected to really consider the interview and what they needed in shared housing.
There are two or three levels of interaction before moving in. If the initial contact is by email, that is the first level. The second level is a telephone conversation. The third level is the personal meeting and seeing the space.
Email contact can weed out the serious from the non-serious potential housing arrangements. You can learn a lot by email but don’t count on it. You are going to be living with the person and you need a sense of them. Once you think that this person has potential as a possible housemate, pick up the telephone.
The telephone conversation is the first real interview . This is the time to find out the basics – why the person is looking (tells you about them), how they will pay their bills (employment current and history), and any specific things they must have in a housing arrangements. It is a two-way conversation. The person looking to move into a space wants to know why the space became available, how the other members of the house pay the bills (additional costs to living there?), and what they must have in a housemate.
Only if the answers indicate a “go” for both parties should a personal interview combined with seeing the home be arranged. This saves everyone a lot of time.
The first thing that happens in the face-to-face interview is to see/show the space. It could happen that the potential housemate hates it. No point in continuing the conversation. But if the space is okay, then sitting down and talking about expectations/agreements about how to share housing is that next step. This is the time to discuss daily routines, kitchen use, preferences for tv/radio/music, guests etc. While you are talking about these things you are assessing whether you want to share a house with this person.
Unless, there is huge competition and everything is really okay, do NOT make a decision on the spot. Give yourself some time to think about it. If you are the house holder check references! But don’t take too long, by this point everyone has invested time in this possibility of sharing a home – if your answer is “no” – communicate that clearly so all parties can move on. If your answer is “yes” – the confirmation is the exchange of money. At that point everyone is committed to sharing housing.
This is the pattern that has worked for me. Do you have a different one?
