Is there a process you can follow that will help you say “no” to the wrong people and “yes” to the right ones?
Yes, there is. Sharing Housing, A Guidebook for Finding and Keeping Good Housemates and the workbook will help you. As you read and use the workbook to reflect on your personal situation you will get clear on the steps.
From the initial idea, “maybe I should have a housemate” to actually living with one reading the book will help you navigate the housemate selection process.
The key is finding a person who is a good fit for YOU.
When the person/people you live with are good fits you can have a shared housing arrangement that is happy and comfortable.
While some people luck into good arrangements most people have to put some effort into the process.
Learn the steps
Do you know what the steps are? Many people make the mistake of thinking that finding a housemate is like renting an apartment. It isn’t.
Learn the questions
The challenge of finding a good housemate is made a whole lot easier when you know what to expect and what questions you can ask to help you determine if there’s a good fit. It will give you courage to say “no” when you can tell the fit isn’t good.
- Assess what YOU need in your home to be comfortable
- Gain confidence in knowing who is a good fit for you
- Build an ad that that attracts a person/people with whom you could live
- Prepare the questions you need in order to evaluate candidates
- Conduct an interview/meeting that helps you know if this might work
- Figure out where to say “yes” and when to say “no”
At first the idea of a housemate seemed scary because one imagines all of the possible problems. Your book helped me prepare mentally by showing me how it could be done sensibly.
I am a recently divorced boomer who had 30 years of accumulated stuff! I agree that making space for housemate is crucial and that getting rid of stuff is emotional work. I felt so free once the Habitat for Humanity truck pulled away! I now had room in my life for more adventures.
I put the word out to everyone I knew that I wanted a housemate and by word of mouth found another woman in my situation who was thrilled to find affordable rent in the Los Angeles area. We are having a ball because I used your techniques for describing my expectations for daily life and household habits. We knew we could be compatible because she had similar expectations.
My housemate helps me afford the housing costs in LA so I can stay near my son after retirement. And it is so much more fun than living alone!
The book and web site helped me a great deal. Your techniques gave me the confidence to begin and it has worked out beautifully.-Anonymous by request
Every chapter in the book has a worksheet, but these are small and inconvenient to use. All the worksheets are reproduced in the workbook in a full-size format with a spiral binding so that you can write on them flat and you don’t lose your important work.
In addition to the worksheets, there are checklists and tracking sheets for organizing your home-mate search. Keep all your notes in one place so that you can easily reference them. You can download all the worksheets individually if you’d prefer.
Selected Washington Post’s Color of Money, Book of the Month.(June, 2011)
Annamarie does a masterful job of guiding a person through the difficult task of finding and keeping a roommate—very even-handed in her portrayal of the options one has in each phase of the process. I think this book will become a ‘must have’ in the years ahead as people want to or are forced to find ways to conserve resources, space, and emotional energy!”
-Annette Leahy Maggitti, Program Director, St. Ambrose Homesharing
For the past sixty years, Americans have concentrated on building bigger houses farther apart from each other. It’s been environmentally ruinous, and it’s made us kind of lonely. Here’s a good practical antidote!”
– Bill McKibben, author, environmentalist, and educator
This book is incredibly helpful to anyone thinking of living with housemates.
It reviews all the details you could possibly use when thinking of living with other adults at any phase of your life. From the thinking of how to advertise for the right person, to sample ads which would let you screen for suitable people, Pluhar leaves no stone unturned in thinking of tips for someone who is new to living with strangers.
She also manages to make completely readable guidelines for living together which might be extremely useful if someone had little experience in living in a shared home. Often, I see people who are not sure why their joint living arrangements have failed…or why others consider them “difficult” to live with.
This book makes clear what works, and Pluhar has the experience to make her teaching points in a completely practical and gentle way. She has taken a topic, which has great relevance in our world where sharing will have to become more usual, and made it lucid and readable.”
-Jacqueline Olds MD, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School
Co-author of The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the 21st Century
I have a roommate now! I had completely dismissed the idea of having a roommate..the idea of sharing my living space totally turned me off.. The book helped me think of the qualities in a roommate that would work for me..three months later, we getting along very well. I am surprised. If not for the book, I would not have opened my mind to houses haring as a possibility for me. Great book, highly recommended for someone on the fence about getting a housemate.” -Suzanne Bansley, Vermont (Blog post on her experience.)
Thanks to Annamarie, I found the perfect housemate. I read the book she wrote and then used her as a resource. The ad I posted in Craig’s list got a number of compliments and the people that answered were all ‘close’ to what I was looking for. One person I interviewed (using Annamarie’s suggestions again) stood out as a really good match. Since he moved in, it’s been a pleasure to share my house with him.” – Nancy Shepard
.Table of Contents
- Introduction: Do You Want to Share Housing?
- Initial Decisions—The Householder
- Initial Decisions—The Home Seeker
- How Do You Want to Live?
FINDING GOOD HOUSEMATES
- Finding Each Other
- Getting the Word Out
- Contact and Interviews
- Checking References
KEEPING GOOD HOUSEMATES
- Moving In and The First Week
- Daily Living, Sharing the Home
- Guidelines for Happy Households
- Managing Conflicts
- When It Isn’t Working
Please complete the form below to order the book and workbook combination or the workbook alone. (You can order the book by itself directly from Amazon. ) Once your order is complete, we will mail you the package according to the shipping preference you indicate.
If for any reason you are not satisfied with the product, we will happily refund your purchase upon return of the items.
Please use the contact form to ask!