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Safety — The Primal Need

July 18, 2018 by Annamarie Leave a Comment

Sliding into safety

“Safe!” yells the umpire as the runner slides home. Safety. It’s a primal, basic need.  We need shelter where we can be free from harm. We need security and stability.  These needs are so deeply a part of us that Abraham Maslow, the psychologist, when he constructed his hierarchy of needs, put safety after food […]

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Filed Under: Finding Good Housemates, Should I Share Housing? Tagged With: ground rules, home, home-mate, home-sharing, sharing housing

The Five Commandments of Keeping a Tidy Household

June 27, 2017 by Rebeca Schiller 2 Comments

keep a shared home tidy

As someone who has lived with a series of flatmates, I learned for that initial interview to ask, “Are you neat?” Of course, everyone answers in the affirmative yet the the reality is that we have lapses when it comes to keeping our home in order. That’s why I came up with five commandments for […]

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Filed Under: Commentary, household tasks, Keeping Good Housemates Tagged With: agreements, cleaning house, ground rules, home-mate

Family Mode Sharing Together

March 6, 2017 by Annamarie Leave a Comment

“Family mode” is what Sandy calls what happens when you live with someone for a while. She lives with three housemates in an apartment in downtown Brattleboro. She says, “I’ve been co-housing all my life. In my early twenties I had an open marriage. We lived with people we loved. My parents had an open […]

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Filed Under: Finding Good Housemates, Keeping Good Housemates, Real People Sharing Housing Tagged With: companionship, ground rules, home-mate, home-sharing, real people, roommate

Cooperative of Friends—A Lively Life

May 23, 2016 by Annamarie 3 Comments

Cooperative house member Julie

It became a cooperative. Julie and friends from college had a vision of living together. And where many of us may have enjoyed conversations where we dreamed about maybe living together, these friends actually did it. In 1979, they bought fifty acres in New Hampshire. Eleven years later, they moved into the house they built […]

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Filed Under: Real People Sharing Housing Tagged With: agreements, companionship, costs, ground rules, kitchen, real people, sharing housing

Feedback — Essential to Successful Home-Mating

June 2, 2014 by Annamarie 1 Comment

Here is excellent article about feedback that showed up in my inbox.  This one offers a slightly different twist on this most important aspect of good relationships. I’m republishing it because the skill of giving and receiving feedback is essential in a home-mate situation. It is written by Michael Bungay Stanier, the founder and Senior […]

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Filed Under: Keeping Good Housemates Tagged With: agreements, assumptions, communication, ground rules, honesty

Interview with Ira Wood on The Lowdown

June 12, 2013 by Annamarie Leave a Comment

Last month, I traveled to Cape Cod for family gathering and an interview. The Lowdown is hosted by Ira Wood on the public radio station of the Outermost Cape, Provincetown, MA – all the way at the tip of the Cape. The interview is a full half-hour long. Having read the book,  Ira had great […]

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Filed Under: Commentary, Finding Good Housemates, Should I Share Housing? Tagged With: common rooms, craigslist, ground rules, housemate, housing, loneliness, roommates, Social isolation

The 3 Mistakes that Niki Made (and you might too!)

January 2, 2013 by Annamarie Leave a Comment

Niki

When I met Niki, she told me I should have bad housemate stories on this website.  She volunteered her own two stories. Here they are with commentary from me afterwards. First Mistake Niki moved to Philadelphia as a twentysomething with a good job and decided that she should have a housemate. It only made sense […]

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Filed Under: Finding Good Housemates Tagged With: advertising, conflict, ground rules, money, real people, roommate, roommates, stories

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