Letting go of a good housemate is a sad thing. But it happens. For a good percentage of my adult life I’ve lived in a shared housing environment–platonic and romantic–where in all cases it didn’t turn out to be a permanent solution. In this post, I’ll share my experience of what happened with the platonic shared […]
Read More...A Home-Mate Is Not A Caretaker (But Can Make a Difference)
Sharon (not her real name) left her community of twenty-five years to move 1500 miles to a new town, new state, and different culture ( New England vs. Texas) because her daughter insisted on it. Her daughter had her reasons: her mother was developing dementia and since she lived alone there was no way that […]
Read More...Safety — The Primal Need
“Safe!” yells the umpire as the runner slides home. Safety. It’s a primal, basic need. We need shelter where we can be free from harm. We need security and stability. These needs are so deeply a part of us that Abraham Maslow, the psychologist, when he constructed his hierarchy of needs, put safety after food […]
Read More...How Emotional Bank Accounts Grow
Harriet heard the front door open and the jangle of keys. From the sounds, she recognized that it was her housemate, Mary. Mary came into the kitchen where Harriet was putting together a salad. A pot of soup simmered on the stove. Mary said, “Hi.” Harriet looked up, smiled and responded, “Hi.” Mary looked around, […]
Read More...Entertaining and Making Your Home-Mate Feel Included
One of the most vivid memories I have is entertaining and including my home-mate to join my friends and me for a night of great food, conversation, and lots of laughing. Although neither of my two home-mates were obligated to include me or me include them, we somehow felt it was the most natural thing […]
Read More...Housemates Matching—How it Works for Norma
Norma, now 95, has been living with housemates for ten years. She finds her them through Home Share Now , a matching service based in Barre, Vermont. She knew about home share programs because she had had an aunt in the Burlington Vermont area who had been very content with a housemate she had through […]
Read More...That Man In His Underwear
Back in the day, when I was in my twenties, I had a flatmate whose beau would walk around the apartment in his underwear. I let it slide a few times, but when it came to using my crystal champagne flutes to drink milk I finally had to say something about his cavalier attitude of […]
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